I Went Over The Glossary – What The F*ck Did I Learn?!

 Newbie Tries to Express his Feelings after the First Time He Read the Glossary

Well, I heard I need to learn some financial terms used in Binary Options Trading and everybody is talking about the BOTS Binary Options Glossary… how good and complete it is. So I guess it’s a good place to start. Hope you don’t disappoint me because I really don’t want to put my gray matter through too much stress. So be gentle!

What?! Asset? To me that looks like Ass ET (Extraterrestrial Ass) but you try to fill my head with financial crap when all I think about is a green sassy lady and her Ass ETs… if you catch my drift. Ok mates, the other articles I can understand, they’re funny, but this one… what can I get out of this Glossary stuff? It’s just a string of words. Why do I have to know them and why are you tormenting my intellect with them? What I know is this: Binary Options are easy and you are complicating them with all those terms. Price is going Up I select Call; price is going Down, I select Put… duh! As a great philosopher once said: “Just Do It!”, don’t think about what a “share” is or what “CBOE” stands for.

Cables? Are Those For the T.V or Binary Options Trading?

I came into this business because all brokers tell me it’s easy to understand and I don’t need any financial experience or education. But you try to tell me I do need some education and try to teach me that “Cable” actually means GBP/USD?! No, no, cable is the thingy that goes into my television set so I can watch the Super Bowl, eat popcorn and burp. Dudes, you are confused and try to confuse me too, but it’s not working, I’m not falling for that crap. You try to brainwash me and make me forget all about the green lady and my TV. What’s next? Are you going to tell me that beer is not good or that I should drink it… warm?!? I never should have listened to the guys that told me that I need some knowledge in order to trade Binaries. 

Speak English! I Don’t Understand You.

“Rollover… an instrument that allows the trader to extend the expiry time of an option” Huh? Can I use Rollover in Binary Options? ‘Cause I just use it when I want my dog to roll over and play dead. And speaking of animals… you try to mix them into all this… bulls… bears. Oh, you have a twisted mind. What does a bear have to do with the price going down? Why don’t we call it downish instead of bearish? And the bull… OMG you went so far that you built a statue of a bull on Wall Street!?! You have problems in the head that’s for sure. Anyway, I see no connection between a bull and price going Up… No, wait, I got it: a charging bull always attacks moving its head and horns upwards.

Support and Resistance?

Ok, ok, that’s a good one, but what about Support and Resistance? What’s that? Support as in “I will make enough money from Binary Options trading to support my kids through college”? And what about “resistance”; is that something I have to learn about too? You could just say “a place where price will come down” but nooo, you and all other experts go all financial style on me and say stuff like “Price encountered heavy resistance at X level and the Bears took control over the market, a fact which resulted in a sell-off and a dip below bla, bla level” Hey, price falls – I select Put – I make money – I repeat! Yeah, so don’t try to look more intelligenter than me.

My Conclusion

If I come to think of it, I can’t memorize all that information because it’s too long and I’m not used to reading so much, but I can understand a little bit why you wrote it… Maybe your reason is to give me the opportunity to have this information without memorizing it. Every time I need to know what a financial term is, I come back to the Glossary and I read about it. Hmm… that sounds good because after all financial jargon is used on every forum and every Binary Options website these days and although I don’t really like it, I don’t want to make a fool out of myself by letting my friends know that I don’t have any idea about the meaning of these terms, except Call or Put. Good, I will get back to my bananas now…  Oh, and one more thing: I know how to spell “intelligent”.

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